The Heart is a Muscle
by killianscupcake
Summary: Modern CS AU. Killian had always been as healthy as a horse until one day everything went wrong. He had all but given up on life until he met a feisty blonde doctor. Dr. Swan's life was starting to go well for once, she had the perfect job, great friends and a potential love interest but she couldn't help feeling that something was missing.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:** This is my first ever fan fiction so please go easy on me as I don't really know what I am doing. It's only the first chapter but there will be more if you guys like it. If you have any suggestions then please let me know. I don't have a beta so sorry for any spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy :)  
_

Emma looked at her watch wishing that this shift was already over before it had even started. 6:15am. The morning rounds at Storybrooke General Hospital begin in 15 minutes. She had just enough time to touch up her make-up and look presentable. No matter what ranking you were at the hospital you needed to look your best. Emma had taken extra time with her flowing golden locks today as she knew that she had a date with Graham after work.

Emma tried not to read too much into the invitation she had received over casual drinks with her co-workers the previous evening, however she found herself mulling over the events.

* * *

The Rabbit Hole wasn't exactly the best of places to meet, with peanut shells over the tables and numerous punters getting a bit too carried away with tequila shots and rum. However, it was right next to the hospital and the bar tender had always been kind to Emma since she moved to Storybrooke from her home in Boston two weeks ago.

Emma was sat with Ruby and August at the bar near to the pool table, just chattering away about the day from hell Emma and most of the other interns had just had at work. Regina was on the war path as she had found out that her interns had been whining about the tasks they had been assigned. Emma had been lumbered with running labs all day and then to make matters worse she then had to write reports. August had been doing sutures for most of the morning then scut for the remainder of the day. Ruby had been lucky, as Dr. Whale had asked specifically to have her assigned to his service all day, much to Regina's annoyance.

Emma nudged Ruby playfully. "So, how's things with you and Whale?"

Ruby couldn't hide her massive wolfish grin that was spreading across her face. Before she even had a chance to reply, Emma was swept backward and a chaste kiss was placed on her cheek.

"What on earth…" Emma started before she realised it was Graham. "Don't do that to me, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Graham just chuckled and sat on the spare seat next to Emma and swiftly ordered a beer.

"You were in safe hands. Plus we have Ruby here, who would just love to do surgery on you if needed." Graham joked whilst Ruby reached over and gave him a slap on his arm. August just snorted and returned to his whiskey chaser. Emma was too distracted by her own thoughts to listen to the rest of the conversation between them. All she could think was that he was sat right next to her, so close she could actually reach out and touch him. Not a dream for once. He wasn't in the normal scrubs and lab coat that they have to wear every day, he was in normal clothes. She noted the crispness of his red plaid shirt, faded blue jeans and a slight earthy smell mixed in with his spicy cologne.

Everyone else thought that he was heartless and didn't care about anyone but himself. Emma knew different. She had seen it in his eyes. It was only a front that he put up to protect himself. She herself had built up walls that few people have been able to break through.

Ruby had broken through so easily. It was as if she was wiping away some dried dirt off her clothes. They had hit it off instantly and could talk about anything to each other. They were complete opposites though. Ruby was very outgoing, carefree, rebellious and could strike up a conversation with anyone. Emma was more reserved yet still caring and extremely protective over her loved ones.

"So, what do you think, Emma?" Graham broke her reverie.

"Huh?" Emma felt so foolish to have let her mind wander away from the moment. She should be making the most of it.

"I was asking if you wanted to go to dinner after work tomorrow. I know this great place just outside of town." The hopeful look on Grahams face made Emma blurt out yes before he had even finished his sentence.

For a split second his vulnerable side was on display as Emma could see the shock of her reply. _Did he really think that she would have turned him down and given him a flat out no_, Emma wondered. His cool façade soon bounced back into place when he noticed Emma was gazing at him with a quizzical look on her brow.

"Err…well then, that's awesome. I will pick you up outside the hospital at 7pm sharp." With that he got up, quickly finished his beer and left with August in tow, leaving both girls in shock.

Ruby just gaped after him whilst Emma downed the rest of her red wine, trying to hide the rosy hue that her cheeks had taken. The other girl was the first to compose herself and quickly started bombarding Emma with questions about what she was going to wear and insisting that whatever she chose would have to be red. It apparently brought out emerald tints to her already bright green eyes and made her hair glow with a golden sheen.

Emma knew that she would need Ruby's help to get ready and choose an outfit for her as she had had so much more experienced and as a rule Emma didn't date. But now was not the time for these decisions. It was timing for drinking and letting loose after a long day. She tried desperately to change the subject but Ruby was having none of it and being more insistent than normal.

"You need to get your hair sorted out. You can't keep it tied up like that forever." Ruby was trying to un-pin Emma's hair but she just swatted her away and touched her messy crown braid. Emma had always loved to braid her hair and it was perfect for work which was an added bonus.

"I mean seriously, guys love girls who have their hair down. It gives them something to hold on to, if you know what I mean?" Ruby winked, making Emma chuckle. You could always count on Ruby to be thinking along those lines.

The rest of the evening continued like this until it dawned on them that they had to be at work by 6am the next morning. Luckily the house that they shared was just around the corner, barely a five-minute walk. By the time they reached the front door they were both exhausted. The mixture of fresh air and the exercise exposed how much alcohol they had actually consumed. _Maybe going out wasn't the best of ideas after a 16 hour shift_, Emma was thinking as she fumbled with the key at the door. Once they were inside they said goodnight and Emma heading straight to bed whilst Ruby went into the kitchen, probably after a snack. All Emma wanted was to sleep. As soon as she was though her bedroom door she kicked off her shoes, rushed into her en suite and brushed her teeth and then collapsed on her bed. Dreaming about Graham for most of the night but she also kept picturing piercing blue eyes.

* * *

"Dr. Swan, am I keeping you from something?" Regina was right up in Emma's personal space making her jumps slightly at the unexpected gesture. Emma scolded herself internally, she was not one for day dreaming normally but she just had the feeling that today was going to be good. "Urm…N-No, Dr. Mills, I was just…" Emma flailed around trying to think of a decent excuse but nothing came to mind. _Damn it!_

"I don't care what you were doing and I don't have time for any lame excuses. Patients are waiting and we are already 2 minutes late. Everyone, get to rounds. Now!" Regina ordered causing all the interns to jump to attention.

Emma stuffed her notepad into her pocket, grabbed her stethoscope, slammed her locker shut and hurried along to follow the others to the surgical wing.

Ruby soon dropped into step with Emma and revealed that she overheard the nurses talking about an amazing surgery that was taking place in the next few days.

"A heart transplant, really?" Emma practically squealed causing Regina to look over her shoulder and give Emma her most intimidating glare. Ruby just nodded like nothing had happened but had an excited glint in her eyes. Of course they had seen videos and live streams of other surgeons performing the procedure but had never actually experience it first-hand. To be in the same room where open heart surgery was being performed was an exciting prospect to a first year intern. Ruby had often referred to it as being like candy but with blood. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife as it was a matter of life or death. Waiting to see if the replaced organ would actually work and be accepted or rejected by the recipient was such a nerve-racking moment but filled with adrenaline. It was such a high for surgeons, especially when the heart beats for the first time. It was like a child walking into a toy shop and being given the toy of their wildest dreams.

Both girls were practically buzzing with excitement even during rounds. Most of which consisted of patients that needed the same kind of surgeries so reading off the charts and stating the procedures were simple. Each intern had their own case most of which were appendectomies, much to Ruby's dismay. She was convinced that Whale would let her in on the transplant.

The interns were coming up to the last patient of the morning rounds before surgeries start when they realised that no one had been assigned to this case. Regina entered the room first whilst the rest were pushing and shoving to get through the door next. Emma got there first and a beaming smile spread across her face when Regina reluctantly handed her the chart. Emma looked at the chart '_Killian Jones' _was printed on the cover_. _Emma looked at the bed only to find the piercing blue eyes that were plaguing her in her dreams last night.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** I am so sorry this took me soooo long to update! My muse went away but I think it is back now. Once again this is unbetaed so please forgive me for any mistakes. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for the reviews and follows :)_

* * *

He longed to know what it felt like to be the Captain of an old galleon. To feel the sea spray and refreshing breeze caress his face whilst he held onto the wheel at the helm. He had always felt drawn to the ocean.

He thought over all of the stories that Liam his older brother had told him whilst growing up about the infamous Queen Anne's Revenge, captained by the fearsome Blackbeard. Liam would go into such vivid detail that Killian believed the stories to be true, even though the tales of temptress mermaids were a little hard to swallow.

The older Killian got, the more he realised that pirates were no more than petty thieves that murdered and pilfered for the fun of it. There was no honour amongst them and should not be idolised. He gave up the idea of becoming a pirate that could give Blackbeard's tale a run for its money and instead enlisted to join the U.S. Navy.

He quickly advanced through the ranks as he was one of the hardest working recruits they ever had and appeared to be a natural.

Killian was to become a lieutenant of the finest vessel in the U.S. Navy a mere three year after joining. The Scorpion; the fastest and most agile vessel in the whole fleet. It has never been known to loose or miss a target.

The awards ceremony was to be a grand affair. All of the ranks, commanding offices and even the chairman were present.

Killian rubbed behind the back of his ear which was his tell-tale sign that he was feeling a little nervous or awkward. He was overwhelmed with emotion but of course he couldn't show it until after his shift and was in the pub with Liam. He couldn't believe that all of his hard work and taking orders off everyone was finally paying off. He was to be a lieutenant and he had actually been noticed by the admiral.

Liam was positively bursting with pride as he had raised him since he was eight years old. Their father was a complete waste of space and would just spend all day drinking and gambling. Killian believed that it was because he wasn't over his wife's death and blamed him for it as she died trying to protect him during are robbery that went wrong at a bank. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So for years it was just the two of them even when Liam decided that there was nothing left in Ireland for them, all of the memories were tinged with sadness and it was time to have a fresh start. They sat together in the local library one evening and pulled out a book containing maps of the world. Liam said that the first page they turn to is where they were going to move to. It just so happened that they turned the page to America which is exactly where Liam wanted to go. Two weeks later they were on a flight to Boston and Liam had signed up to join the Navy. They allowed Killian to tag along but he was only allowed to stay at the base and confined to his room during training hours. He always managed to sneak out and sit near to sea. It was a calming presence and to him it smelled like home. Liam was so happy when Killian had followed in his footsteps to join the navy as soon as he turned seventeen. At last they would be able to spend more time together than just the fleeting hours after dinner. Now with Killian about to be promoted, they will practically be inseparable, what with him being captain.

Killian heard Admiral Bjorgman call his name to come forward. _Bloody hell, don't trip_, was all that was going around in his mind in that instance. Not that a naval officer would do that but he couldn't stop his conscious from thinking it. It was all he needed for his brother to have another humiliating story to bring up. Much to his delight he managed to get up to the podium without a hitch and the lieutenant badge was placed above his heart and he was always wear with it with pride. He had earned it! He turned around to go back to his designated place and the whole assemblage saluted him.

"Wait there a moment, Lieutenant Jones. There is one last thing that I need to give to you." Killian froze in his tracks and turned around slowly. He wasn't use to being called lieutenant and he didn't expect anything else.

"This fine vessel," Admiral Bjorgman pointed to the large warship stationed in the nearest wharf, "The Scorpian, is now under your care and protection. Captain Jones will still be present and oversee all tasks but the general running falls upon your command." He knew that he was to become second in command whilst on that vessel but most of the duties belonged to the captain only. He was just there to delegate tasks and keep the crew in order, but still this was a massive honour. He would never forget this moment. It had given him purpose and something to be proud of.

The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur and before Killian could process any more, it was all over and everyone was heading home. He was just standing there marvelling over HIS ship. She was a beauty.

"Right then little brother, where too?" Liam came up behind Killian and threw his arm around his shoulders.

"The White Swan" Killian replied without a second though. He seemed to be drawn like a moth to a flame to anything relating to the word 'swan'. He still couldn't fathom out the reason behind it, it was like it was programmed into his genetics and he was compelled to follow it.

It only took them five minutes to get to the pub as it was right around the corner from where the ceremony took place. Neither could be bothered to get changed and figured if they stayed in their uniforms then they might get free drinks. They were just chatting away about the possible islands they would see on their travels together and of the tales they would be able to tell their friends and any future children that they might have. Killian longed to go back to Ireland as he will always remember the happy times he had there. He didn't remember the bad time as vividly as Liam did so the good outweighed them. _One day, maybe, _Killian thought to himself.

As usual everyone stopped and stared the minute they walked through the door and up to the bar.

"What can I get you boys?" The tall blonde barmaid was ready to take their order.

"Two dark 'n' stormy's please, love." Liam chirped in before he even had a chance to think. Luckily it was Killian favourite drink, the rum always hit the spot and the ginger and lime added the perfect twist.

"Coming right up". Killian noticed Liam checking the blonde out and waggled his eyebrows to his brother.

"I told you it wouldn't be too bad today. Just wait until you are behind that wheel on Monday. It will make all of your hard work worthwhile. Plus you get to spend even more time me. But first let's celebrate!" Killian could see how happy his brother was, not that it was hard to tell, as Liam had never been one to hide his emotions.

"So what are we celebrating?" The barmaid came back and placed the drinks in front of them. Killian noticed that she also brought a drink over for herself but hid it under the bar out of sight.

"My little brother here has just be promoted to Lieutenant." Liam was first to answer again and ruffled Killian's hair just like he use to do when they were little. Killian shoved him away feeling a little embarrassed and ran his hand through his hair to try and put it back in place. He always liked the slightly messy look as it sends the ladies a little crazy.

"I'm guess you must be Captain then?" She said with a slight twinkle in her eyes and knowing smile on her face. Killian chuckled as he knew Liam loved it when a girl called him Captain and she was just his type. Thick, long, blonde hair, which was tied up in a fishtail braid with what appeared to be little snowflakes delicately pined into place, large and bright blue eyes that almost seemed to twinkle like Christmas lights. She was obviously beautiful, but blondes were not really Killian type he was more partial to brunettes.

"Aye, love. Captain Liam Jones, and who might you be?" Liam bowed slightly causing Killian and the girl to chuckle.

"Elsa." She replied quickly.

Killian let his mind drift away from the rest of the conversation between Elsa and his brother and took a slip of his drink. He felt the familiar burn of the rum down his throat and then the kick of the ginger. _Heaven._ _There is no better way to top of an amazing day than this,_ Killian was thinking to himself when he caught the eye of a brunette that was sitting at the other end of the bar. She looked away quickly probably feeling a little silly at being caught staring at a stranger. She had a mass of dark brown curls which framed her face beautifully and enhanced her slate grey eyes. Killian found that he could not look away.

Elsa had been topping up their glasses whenever they got a little low, "Anyone would think you are trying to get us drunk, love." Liam said whilst leaning in towards Elsa. Killian wasn't really paying any attention and feeling a little bolder than usual, probably due to all of the excitement and the alcohol he had already consumed, he went over and sat on the empty barstool by the brunette.

She was wearing a figure hugging emerald green dress that was cut into a low "V" over her chest with black glitter skyscraper heels. She looked stunning and was the prettiest girl that Killian had seen in a very long time. He could hardly control his thoughts to even come up with a coherent sentence.

"I was beginning to think that you would never come over and join me." The brunette startled Killian bring him from his reverie. "I even have a drink waiting for you." She pushed the tumbler over to him whilst she raised hers waiting for him to pick his up.

"I thought it was the gentleman's job to buy the drinks?" Killian rubbed behind his ear, waggled his eyebrows and picked up the tumbler and tapped it against her waiting one in a toast to their meeting. _How did she know he liked rum? Maybe she was more observant and confident that he originally though. _

"It is normally, but I thought why not make an exception for a handsome lieutenant." She smiled secretly and took a sip of her drink.

Killian felt a blush creeping up his neck. "I prefer dashing lieutenant, but that will have to do." He had no idea why he said that, it just slipped out.

The girl seemed amused and played along. "So does the dashingly handsome lieutenant have a name? I'm Milah by the way."

"Killian Jones." He replied confidently. He really couldn't figure out where his new found confidence emerged from but he had his suspicions that it was all alcohol induced, not that he was complaining.

The time passed a little too quickly for Killian as he was really enjoying himself, learning everything he possibly could about Milah and it appeared that she was doing the same. She had moved to Boston five years ago after a messy divorce. She said that she was too young and didn't know any better but is completely over it now.

They really seemed to hit it off together and Killian wouldn't have it any other way. She really was beautiful and so interesting.

Throughout the conversation they had subconsciously angled themselves towards each other and their knees were touching. Killian could feeling the electricity flowing between them and he wondering if she felt the same way. He was so caught up in the moment that he leaned over and pressed his lips against her cheek. It was only a brief kiss and he pulled back quickly to gauge her reaction.

"I think you missed." She said a little breathlessly and placed her lips against his.

He couldn't believe she kissed him! Her lips were so soft and seemed like they were made just for him. He was a little hesitant at first but soon got into it when Milah ran her tongue across his lower lip, seeking an entrance. Oh course he complied, he would have been a fool if he didn't, so parted his lips for her. She took advantage instantly and begin exploring his mouth and pulled him closer to her.

Killian was glued to her for the rest of the evening and never left her side.

* * *

Killian didn't believe that life could get any better; that was until Milah came along and filled in that missing piece of the jigsaw that he didn't even know he was missing.

Things had been going perfectly for months, his relationship with Milah was stronger than ever, Liam has proposed to Elsa and they were expecting their first child. It seemed like nothing could touch them and the odds were in their favour, until everything when horrendously wrong.

They had all been on a family holiday to visit Elsa's sister in Vancouver and it had been a particularly bad winter that year but the roads had cleared up enough so they could head back to Boston. Killian was the designated driver as he had the most experience and in all honesty nobody else wanted to drive. Liam jumped in the passenger's seat as he was in charge of map reading. They were half way through their journey on a narrow stretch of road when a car came skidding around the corner and straight into them. There was nothing that Killian could do, he was powerless. All he could feel was the car spinning out of control and getting extremely close to the side of the road which happened to lead down a steep incline. The last think Killian remembered was Liam reaching out for his brothers' hand, whispering "I love you, Brother".

That would plague his dream and every waking moment for the rest of his life.

* * *

Ever since that day several years ago, Killian had been in and out of hospital a few times a year to have his heart monitored. It was severely weakened in the crash that caused him to lose everyone that he held dear to him as well as his left hand. He was even put on the transplant list as the doctors had calculated that his heart wouldn't work for much longer.

Killian was still working for the navy but he couldn't do all of the heavy work that he was use to and that killed him. He was a worker and didn't want to just laze around. He had to persuade Admiral Bjorgman to keep him on, as it was the only thing that he had left that was worth living for.

One evening he received a phone called from Storybrooke hospital, in Maine, saying that they might have found a heart for him and needed him there tomorrow afternoon.

_Maybe things are starting to look up._

That was the first night in years that Killian was not dreaming about Milah, but instead a pair of intense forest green eyes and white feathers.

* * *

Killian arrived at Storybrooke hospital bang on 2pm just as he was told to do.

"Ah, Mr Jones, it is good to see you again. I see you still haven't left the navy like Dr Whale advised." Killian could recognise Dr Mills' commanding voice anywhere.

"Now where would the fun be in that, love?" His let his voice caress the word 'love' as he knew it would wind Dr Mills up instantly and it worked. She just glared at him causing him to chuckle. He knew deep down she secretly had a soft spot for him.

She helped get him admitted and left him to settle into room which was going to be his home for the next few weeks. He looked around the cold, sterile looking environment wishing that his brother was with him as he was sure that he would come up with some witty comment about the decor.

He almost wished that Dr Mills hadn't left so quickly as then he would still have someone to talk to and keep his mind occupied so he didn't dwell about the past.

Dr Whale stopped by later that evening to run some basic test to see how his vitals were doing and to check whether or not his heart had become any worst since their last meeting 6 months ago.

Killian was listening to him most intently and there was a glimmer of hope as well as pain when he mentioned the donor who had be declared brain dead yesterday morning, hence the phone call. The hospital was just waiting for consent from the family before proceeding.

He was a perfect match for Killian; same age, blood type so there shouldn't be any problems with suitability but everyone's body is different and there is a slight chance that Killian's body will reject the organ.

* * *

Killian awoke the next morning to a commotion going on outside his door. It was the interns. Dr Whale had warned him about them all and said it would be like feeding time at the zoo when there realised that he was a transplant patient. He wasn't wrong.

He recognised Dr Mills who was first through the door and she almost gave him a look as if to say forgive me. Followed shortly behind her were five fresh faced looking interns pushing shoving to get through the door next.

A girl with golden blonde hair tied up in a braid made it through the door first. Killian was almost blown away with her beaming smiling as Dr Mills handed her his chart and then he noticed her eyes.

They were the same forest green eyes that had been invading his dreams.


End file.
